Why My Abortion Stemmed From Love

I desperately wanted my baby but my then-fiance convinced me that having a baby at my age and at the place in my life where I was would be the worst decision I could have made. Looking back on it, I’m glad I went through with it because he was right. I could not care for my child the way I wanted to or the way a child deserves and it would have derailed my already precarious but semi-okay situation. It was something that ate at me and my soul for months afterwards and to this day still eats at me but I would not go back and change it. No matter how badly I loved that potential baby in me and no matter how badly I wish I were holding it today, the best choice I made was to spare it from a life that I know I would have destroyed. Whether it be from lack of stability or just plain bad timing, I made that choice for myself and my child. I will always love that baby but I will always be grateful to my younger self for giving me the chance to have a better future for the family I will have someday. I just needed to make it clear to some women that having an abortion does not mean that you don’t love the baby inside you. It does not mean that you’ll grow out of loving it and it does not mean that you don’t deserve to feel sad or to miss it. Having an abortion is a choice you make for yourself but it’s also a choice you make for your child.