I have an abortion scheduled for next week and I’m relieved. I lost my mom and grandma back to back the last few months and I have a one year old. I found out a week ago and had no idea I was pregnant. I was feeling lost and lonely, wanting my mom… but instead, I didn’t do my research and went to a “woman’s clinic” advertising abortion online. The feelings you feel during this time regarding the right decision are so all over the place and I trusted these women in this clinic to help me find providers and comfort me maybe.
They kept me there for 4 hours, lying to me about mental health related “facts” that could affect me after abortion. They changed my due date 2 times and the sonogram tech was not licensed. They informed me that if I thought losing my mom and grandma was hard, that they almost guarantee that I couldn’t handle this and it would scar me. I sat through all of this and was polite because I needed help. At the end of this long, drawn out visit, where they kept talking AROUND abortion, reassuring me they don’t judge…I walked to the front desk and asked for providers who could help me. The woman looked up at me and said “what would your mom and grandma in heaven think if you got an abortion?” I’m not sure how I replied but I cried the whole drive home, wishing I could call them. That one question left me in a dark place for 3 days, changing my decision every hour about what I should do. I reached out to a hotline w real physicians who do abortions daily and got educated, honest answers. My point being, I haven’t even had the abortion yet (which isn’t a fun thing to go through I’m sure) and to have to deal with a clinic like this instead of being supported was not okay. Luckily I’ve had a lot of grief therapy and help regarding my mental health since losing my two favorite people. Please please do your research, call multiple places, wait on hold if you have to but STAY AWAY from crisis centers who do nothing but try to change your mind and scare you. Some of us have no one else to turn to and it worries me that the wrong information, being judged and shamed by not even licensed doctors and already feeling guilty and confused could end badly for other girls. It isn’t okay and it affected me (negatively) before the actual procedure. Just know you aren’t alone and trust your gut.
Sending anyone who needs a hug right now 15 of them. You’re seen and loved.
