“We are never having sex again.”

by Anonymous

May 29, 2020

Abortion was new for me, I was 17 and the country was in the early days of a pandemic. I found out I was pregnant just before lockdown and ,therefore, I was deprived of the physical support from my boyfriend.

I had three weeks to work out how on earth I was going to get to a hospital 45 minutes away without having to tell anyone else. Public transport was not an option and I cannot drive. I had no choice but to tell my dad.

That was the worst part for me, telling other people, especially my dad. I usually like to suffer alone and hate the thought of people feeling pain or discomfort because of me. If we had not been in a pandemic, I would’ve done it alone, with my boyfriend at least. Although, I immediately felt better after telling my parents and things got easier after that. In a way I’m glad I had no choice but to tell them otherwise they wouldn’t have known what I was going through and their support helped so much.

The abortion itself was extremely painful. I know the pain levels can range from period cramps to early labour contractions. Mine were at the very top of that scale.

When my pain was at its worst, I texted my boyfriend, “we are never having sex again.” As soon as the pain was gone, I took it back. I was hurting too much to care at that point. I couldn’t think straight.  Who knows what I would’ve said if he was there with me.

I stayed in the hospital during the abortion. I was allowed home after the pregnancy passed and when it did, I felt such relief. Not only because the pain immediately stopped, but also because the worrying and the fear was over. I could carry on like normal now.

Although, that was not necessarily the case. I do not regret my abortion but I do find myself awake at night wondering about what my baby would be like and who it would look like. But I know I made the right decision for me. A baby right now would not be sensible considering mine and my boyfriend’s circumstances.

Overall, I am grateful to have access to abortion services and I am also grateful to have had the support of my parents and my boyfriend and I cannot imagine what it must be like for those that don’t have those options. It was definitely nerve wracking having an abortion, especially during a pandemic but 4 weeks on I finally feel more like myself and I am happy to no longer be pregnant at this time.


Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!