I was 25 when I had my abortion. It was my first pregnancy, I never expected that my first pregnancy would end in abortion. I made a mistake, I couldn’t keep my baby, even though a part of me wondered what it would be like. I still think about that day, how quickly I was pregnant and then I was not.

I find myself wondering randomly about my baby. Would they have been a boy or a girl? Would they look like me? Be like me? Or even will I meet this baby one day when we’re ready?

Then I find myself wondering about myself. Will I be okay?

Abortion was the best and only option for me, I know that. But I also know, that it doesn’t just ‘go away.’ The feelings are there, they come in waves, sometimes small and sometimes deep.

A support system is important, I have that. I’m grateful for the people behind me.

I suppose the best thing is to remember, you’re never alone.