Was pressured into it, but looking back, glad I did it

by Anonymous

October 20, 2020

Content Warning: emotional abuse and reproductive coercion

I had an abortion when I was 23. I was dating this guy that I was absolutely in love with, who also happened to treat me like crap. He was very manipulative. I got pregnant 4 months into the relationship. I originally wanted to keep it, because I loved my boyfriend and wanted to be with him forever. I thought we could start our family. And he already had a 2 year old daughter so I knew he had been in this situation before.

Long story short, he ended things with me (over text), when I told him. I begged and pleaded for him to come back. I would have done anything. He took me up on that offer, and said if I got an abortion, everything would be okay. We would be together, we would be okay. So I did it. It was the most painful thing ever, both physically and emotionally. I cried the whole time. I had a mental breakdown in the parking lot, begging him to reconsider. But I would have done anything for him. And I did.

He broke up with me a few days after.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m 100% pro choice. It was just very traumatizing because I never really knew that it was my choice. I still don’t know. But as unhappy I am that it happened, I am happy that I did it. I was in no way ready to raise a child. And that man ended up being the worst person I’ve ever met. So I’m very glad I didn’t have a child with him.

I’m still in therapy because of it. But I am much better than I would have been had I not had an abortion.

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