If you're alone and going through this, please know that I am eternally holding space for you.
Let me preface with saying I am a mother and I love being a mother. I have two wonderful kids I was told I would never be able to have. I had previously lost two children before than so the idea of pregnancy is super traumatic. Pair that with an alcoholic husband who has been in and out of rehabs and institutions. While we are normally okay, there are times we’re not. There are times the emotional abuse that occurs at the hands of his addiction become too much to bare for myself and my kids. And though he has never crossed into physical territory, the threat exists as long as the addiction does.
So when I found out I was pregnant (even though I was on birth control), I knew I couldn’t bring another child into our home. I couldn’t expose another child to this life because the guilt of exposing the two I already have is terrible.
The hang up is that my husband is against abortion. I had to find out and receive care completely on my own and in secret but I knew I had to, for me and my family. I went to work, I went to kids sports, all while going through this completely alone.
If you’re alone and going through this, please know that I am eternally holding space for you.
