Today it’s hard. I’m feeling the loss of what could have been my baby very heavily. They could have been five and a half by now. They aren’t. We could be dancing in the rain. But we’re not. Because I chose to have an abortion. Most of the time I’m fine with my decision. Sometimes I’m regretful. Wistful, even. I know my life wouldn’t be the same. Their quality of life would be lacking. It was all for the best in the end. I’ll be a great mother when I’m ready. But today it’s hard.

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