Today I aborted a baby with Down Syndrome

I had an abortion today and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. I’m 37 years old and have been trying to have a baby for two years. I had two miscarriages before this pregnancy. This fall I held my breath for the first trimester, hoping each day that the baby would live. When I finally hit the 12 week mark I was overjoyed and started sharing the news. I really thought this baby would become a reality. Then we got a call from the geneticist. I had screened for an elevated risk for down syndrome. After recovering from the shock, my partner and I decided we did not want to bring this baby into the world. We did not want the potential risk of being caregivers for the rest of our lives. I had to wait almost 3 weeks for the amniocentesis to verify the screening results, and another week for the results. A month passed and the pregnancy continued to grow. Four weeks of anguish and sadness for what could have been. Four weeks of asking my baby for forgiveness. Today I aborted a baby with down syndrome, an act that is illegal in some states, but luckily not mine. I was fortunate to be surrounded by health care professionals that treated me with care, empathy and without judgment. Ending this pregnancy was the hardest decision of my life, knowing that I may never have a healthy baby. I am so sad, yet determined to share my story. When I found out about my baby, I struggled to find other stories like mine, despite the fact that an estimated average of 67% of women make the same choice I did. I want to share my abortion story so the next person who needs an abortion for genetic reasons won’t feel so alone in making such an impossible decision.