Ultra religious family meant I had an abortion at sixteen years old, after I conceived with a boy my family would have never approved of. We went to the clinic on the train and he tried not to make a big deal out of it, so I didn’t make it a whole thing either. I still miss him sometimes, first love is like that.
I had another abortion secretly at nineteen, this time married, my husband was handpicked by my parents and I was terrified of him – if he treated me like that how would have treated his child? It was an act of love and relief.
Finally, newly widowed, at twenty two and pregnant with a child clearly not belonging to my late abusive husband. Society would have killed me had they found out I’d moved on so quickly, and how could I be so insensitive and slutty?
Maybe one day I will have a baby or two with a nice man and maybe one day I will be able to tell my parents that they were almost grandparents and ultimately I’m happy and relieved that I stopped that from happening.
