Three years ago changed me

by Anonymous

June 21, 2021

Content Warning: rape

I was drugged and raped by the man I was dating almost three years ago. He made me believe that I drank too much and that was why I woke up in a haze. After that night he stopped returning my texts and calls. 6 weeks later I took a pregnancy test after feeling repeated migraines and nausea for over a week and realized I hadn’t had my period which I attributed to stress. When I saw the test show me two blue lines I broke down. How could I be pregnant? I am careful, I haven’t slept with anyone except him, but we use condoms every time, it just made no sense. After thinking about it more, I realized that the night “I drank too much” was the night he drugged me and raped me while I was unconscious. For about a week after, I struggled with this, I broke down when I found out he did the same thing to multiple women. I went to the doctor for confirmation and we talked about options. I decided to schedule an abortion and it was the hardest decision I ever had to make. I was scared, I was alone, but I was grateful to the doctors at Planned Parenthood. They made me feel less shame and safe with the decision that I made. I do not regret it, but I do think of the pregnancy often and they trauma I will live with for the rest of my life. It was the hardest decision I had to make for myself, but I will never regret it.

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