I only just let go of the idea that I needed to earn the right to have children

by Anonymous

July 18, 2019

Abortion was initially an easy choice for me. I was 16 years old. My high school graduation was coming up. I wasn’t ready to have a baby and I knew it. The father would have stepped up if I had asked, but I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want to carry that baby and I wasn’t about to ruin my life at such a young age. But then my grandfather passed away. And then a ‘friend’ suggested that my pregnancy was my grandfather’s spirit returning to the earth. And then abortion wasn’t such an easy choice for me. Up until that moment I had felt no shame about my decision. My mother had admitted to having an abortion very willingly, although I never told her about mine. The second it was suggested to me that the baby was my grandfather I became deeply ashamed of my choice. I hid. I went to my grandfather’s funeral two days after I aborted the pregnancy, and convinced myself that I now wasn’t worthy of having children of my own.

This was all ten years ago. Ten long freaking years. I only just let go of the idea that I needed to earn the right to have children and have started trying with my amazing spouse. He’s been so patient with me.


Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!