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There’s Always a Choice

by Aliya

June 10, 2019

I’m a 21 year old who has gone from having everything to nothing in a matter of days. Being homeless and pregnant (about a month or so, I had no idea at first) at the time was difficult. I was, and still am, dealing with a tough family life, and trying to figure out how to be an adult and get my life sorted out and stabalized.

I had found out I was pregnant while heading back to the homeless (domestic violence) shelter from work. I was almost there until I randomly fainted while waiting for the last bus to take me there. When I woke up, it had only been a few minutes but at the time I had no idea how long I was out for. I checked the time, called 911, and tried to get myself some help. While I was trying to explain what happened, I told the dispatcher I felt dizzy again and had to faint again. I wasn’t out for long, but when I noticed the dispatcher was still on the line, she told me she was sending an ambulance to get me. When I got to the hospital, that’s when I was told I was pregnant and what my choices were. I knew I wasn’t ready. Not emotionally, nor financially. I was terrified. I still felt like a child myself I felt a bit of regret and cried when I had heard the heartbeats and had my ultrasound, but I already knew deep down that I wouldn’t be as happy if I straight up had a kid with no plan whatsoever. And ignoring the protestors was easy. There are tons of people like myself who believe YOU have a choice. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty when they don’t know your situation.

When I have a baby in the future, I want to be more emotionally ready than anything to be able to give the greatest amount of care I possibly can. Currently, I’m on my way to having a second abortion. I’m between 10-13 weeks pregnant (still have to see a doctor for accuracy due to my irregular periods)

Because my periods are so irregular, I can go a whole month without getting it. It’s very common for me to not have my period every few months or so.

Anyway – this will be my second abortion, and my last. Mistakes happen, and only you should be able to have a say with the choices you make. I still have a bit of regrets, but I know what’s best for me. I personally wouldn’t want to trap my kids in this present chaotic and cruel world anyway. Especially when I’m nowhere near stable enough to protect them, feed them, and etc.

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