I learned I was pregnant at a very hectic time in my life. My partner and I were away from home for a project he was working on. He was insanely busy & I was sick and foggy and terrified and, though he was fully supportive, I still went into this feeling very alone. I felt sad and scared and ashamed that I felt sad and scared. I’ve always been a big advocate for rights & even did a lot of work at Planned Parenthood on their activist council. But, I never expected to get pregnant. And, even if I had, I never would’ve expected to feel so lonely and afraid. I had all of these hormones running through me and I didn’t feel like there was space for me to tell anyone.
This all changed the day I had my abortion. I spent about six-or-so hours sitting in a back room of Planned Parenthood with about twelve other women all waiting to have their abortions. We were all wearing hospital gowns, our phones and clothes were in lockers, and we had nothing but time. We took turns sharing our stories, what brought us here, how afraid we felt. We held each other’s hands. We cried together. We held space for each other; we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable and say everything we’d been afraid or embarrassed to say until now. When it was my turn to go and the nurse moved me into another room to wait for the anesthesiologists & I could feel my whole body shake I looked out and made eye contact with one of the women from my room as she smiled and mouthed “you’ve got this”. I have never been so in awe at the love women who’ve never even met before can give to one another. Those women changed my life & because of them my abortion wasn’t this awful, traumatic experience and instead felt like an incredibly empowering one.
