The right decision for me

I have 2 children already and recently had a surgical abortion. I agonised over the decision and had what seemed like a massive head and heart battle. There was complications in the pregnancy and I had two previous complicated births that required a long hospital stay afterwards. My husband had recently with no explanation walked out on us so I was alone with no support and had to make the decision based on my children what was already here and needed me. What would they do without me if things went wrong.. ? I have suffered a long period of grieving and what ifs.. what if things would of gone right? But there are no guarantees and I felt I was gambling my own health and my children’s well being for the sake of a life that wasn’t even here. It wasn’t fair. I have experienced sadness and abortion didn’t make me happy but it did bring me great relief that I could focus on getting better for the sake of my family what needed me. I believe most decisions in life aren’t going to necessarily make you happy but are the overarching right thing to do.