The Right Choice for ME

by Molly

November 5, 2020

My now husband and I had been dating for 6 months, I had recently graduated from college, and I was working an hourly physical labor job on a local farm. My husband was working on his degree after getting out of the military. I had gotten an IUD shortly before my husband and I had started dating. The IUD seemed like the perfect fit for me, it was non-hormonal (I have struggled with various pills and birth control methods since my Dad left a prescription and info packet on my bed when I was 16, no further information or guidance provided) and this birth control was long term, reliable, and consistent since I didn’t have to take it every day. As far as I knew, it was working great, until one day I realized I had missed my period. The pregnancy test was positive, and after some googling, I realized I could be in severe physical danger due to the IUD and pregnancy combo.

I was still on my Dad’s health insurance which was fortunate, but it also meant that I had to drive an hour and a half away to visit with a gyno in network. The news from the doctor wasn’t all bad; the pregnancy was not ectopic but it was not safe either, for the baby or myself. I was then sent to a hospital where they determined I was not in imminent danger.

It was an easy decision not to go through with the pregnancy at this point. My husband and I felt horribly unprepared, despite knowing full well that we wanted a family in the future. The gyno had no resources for me beyond prenatal care, so I made an appointment at the local Planned Parenthood.

I was expecting to go to the Planned Parenthood office, receive the abortion pill (as I was only at about 6 weeks at this point) and have them remove the IUD, and I would be on my way and begin to leave this horrific experience behind. This is where it gets interesting, and graphic! The doctor at PP informed me that she was unable to remove the IUD. When I inquired what she meant by that, she explained that it was physically stuck in my uterus, she could not pull it out, and therefore I could not receive the abortion pill. They did not perform aspiration abortions at that location so I went home, still pregnant. I made an appointment at another PP location, another two and a half hours away for an aspiration abortion, which in all honesty, I was not comfortable with. But I was less comfortable with the idea of growing a baby with an IUD stuck inside of me and risking both of our lives. The aspiration abortion was successful but the fun does not end there. The doctors were under the assumption that the process of the abortion would also dislodge the IUD, not so! The IUD was stuck in there good. Just to wrap up that portion of the story, I went to see my gyno again who was unable to remove the IUD, so she referred me to a specialist who was able to slowly and excruciatingly rip it out of my uterine wall.

So, my take from all of this is that abortions are not very accessible, they require time, travel and money, and they are not and literally cannot be used as a form of birth control.  I choose my life and my partner’s over the life of an embryo or fetus, but most importantly; THIS IS NOT YOUR F****** BUSINESS. This is between me and my doctor.. NO ONE ELSE.

I never thought that I myself would get an abortion, despite being pro choice. But the situation arose and I am so grateful that I was physically and financially able to do so because I am so incredibly happy with the life and family that I have now. If you do not want an abortion, great! That is awesome for you. Don’t get one! But do not, DO NOT, restrict my personal rights, intervene with MY health, or throw a blanket statement on every situation that abortion is murder and the people who utilize them are evil. That is your opinion, not science, and I live my life by a moral compass guided by science and experience.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!