I’m a successful 32 year old divorced mother to a beautifully vibrant toddler. When I thought I had finally met the man of my dreams, my vision for have another baby was heavy. He and I agreed for months to “try not try” to have a baby. After many unsuccessful months, we had finally conceived. I, myself, was over the moon. But as soon as it happened, my partner began to feel an entirely different way. He changed, was angry, often mentally abusive and told me that we weren’t ready and that an abortion should be my choice. I was crushed.
After a couple of weeks of contemplating my situation, talking with my therapist, and spending time with my son (alone and away from my environment) I decided that the best course of action for me was to terminate. My toddler needed his mother and I wasn’t ready nor willing to raise another child on my own. And at this point, my relationship was in the fire.
The decision to abort wasn’t easy and my experience leading up was traumatic because of the stories I read online.
I decided upon a clinic after days and days of research and the appointment couldn’t have been more incredible. I opted for the surgical procedure with general anesthesia. I’ll be honest, I cried and walked out of the operating room 3 times out of nerves before I finally pulled the trigger. I went to sleep quickly and when I woke up, I was laying in the cuties recovery room with warm blankets, cookies and tea.
Although I grieve my loss I know it was the best choice for me and my future. I pray someday to meet the man of dreams so that I can bring that light back. Until then, I’ll start to heal myself while learning that strength comes in all shapes and sizes.
