May 24, 2019
I had an abortion. I am a woman in my thirties. I have been married for 5 years. We own a home and both have good jobs. My life is pretty great. I have been a diligent user of birth control since I became sexually active at 17. I have, to my knowledge, only been pregnant this one time.
We have always planned on having children. Before we had them though, we wanted to explore ourselves as a couple and get a few things off our bucket list. We have had many adventures and amazing times. Our love and marriage is kind, honest, and resilient.
Nine months into our marriage our lives were forever changed. My husband’s brother, also known as my brother in law, and collectively our closest and most responsible and kind sibling, had his house raided by the FBI. He was charged with possession and distribution of child pornography. His roommates called us when it happened. We had to tell every member of his family, including his other brother, who has three small children. Throughout the course of his trial we learned that his primary victims were boys, ages 4-11. They wanted to put him away for 28 years. Instead, he was sentenced to five years in prison. His release is coming in November of this year.
He was in our wedding. We had talked about how excited we were for our children to have him as an uncle. Aside from our parents, he was the one we discussed trusting the most with our children, when the time came. That was before we knew. Now, none of that will ever be.
I do not regret my abortion at all. To me, it is scarier to bring a child into this world than to stop one from entering it.
I believe that any children we are meant to have will come to us when the time is right. No miscarriage or abortion will stop that. It only postpones that soul for awhile.
The decision to have an abortion for us was easy and mutual. I am glad that we did it. I hope that some day, the decision to have a child will be just as easy for us.
Thank you.
