I’ve been avoiding yoga

Because I’ve been avoiding thinking of you

And that’s what yoga eventually

forces me to do

I couldn’t be your home

How does that make me feel

But today I saw visions of your energy being released back into the everything

Of the universe

And I felt a sense of relief

And forgiveness

From myself to myself

And from the universe towards me

I gave my gratitude

And thanked the universe for looking after you

And I saw your energy being distributed back into the greatness of everything

And I feel sad and I feel low but I know

I need to keep visiting these thoughts

To heal

To not feel so guilty and sick to my stomach

To not feel so broken and lost and numb

I need to keep forcing myself to feel

To feel how I feel

To keep trying to see if I finally feel healed

But how much longer must I endure this?

Please, please I don’t know what to do

I don’t know what to do, when it’s my own mind that is so cruel.