The 2 times I chose to termimate my pregnancies

by Tumi

July 18, 2018

Abortion #1:

I was 19 years old, had just started varsity and was dating a man 5 years my senior. I was a virgin. The guy and I were doing sexual things but I was so clueless and ignorant about sex that I didn’t even know we were having sex…never mind that he was ejaculating inside me. When I missed my period, I knew something was wrong. He decided to get a pregnancy test and sure enough…I was pregnant. I was so certain of what I wanted to do, there was no question about it. I was not ready for a baby and I didn’t even think twice about it. I was 2 weeks pregnant and went to the clinic and was able to take medication to end the pregnancy.


About #2

I was 28 when 6 months after my alcoholic ex fiance broke off our engagement (thank God), I met a decent man. I was still behaving in a risky manner as a result of the break-up and was irresponsible. We made sure I got a morning after pill, which did not work. I was 6 weeks pregnant. He worked in the US while I was in South Africa (SA) and I remember just feeling so alone. But I knew deep down in my gut again that I was not ready to be a mother, not now and I don’t even know if I ever want children.


Abortion in SA is legal and we have safe clinics such as Marie Stopes that perform safe abortions. And luckily we do not have anti-choice protesters with placards outside the facilities.


I still have so much more I want to do with my life and accomplish, yes I probably could do those things with a baby, it would be much more difficult and for me I chose the alternative.


I regret none of my abortions and I am so grateful to have found the #shoutyourabortion on twitter. For so long, I have been ashamed, more so guilty that I have had 2 terminations. I have only spoken to a handful of people about my abortions and to see that other people have gone through what I have has been so liberating. I cried reading the Shout Your Abortion page. As much as it’s legal in SA, there is still a negative stigma about abortion. The one thing I regret  not speaking to the other ladies in the waiting room. All I wanted to do was talk to someone but my tongue would get caught in my throat.


I stand in solidarity with the pro-choice activists in the US. Women should have the right to choose when to have a baby, under any circumstance.

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