Don’t suffer in silence. Tell your story and don’t hide in shame.

by Amanda

March 9, 2018

My boyfriend and I had been together for just over a year when I got pregnant. He had had a vasectomy about 8 years earlier when we was with his ex. We weren’t using protection, because we believed that we had nothing to worry about. My period that month was 8 days late when I started to wonder. I figured maybe it was because of street or possibly some underlying medical condition. I decided before I made a doctor’s appointment to take a pregnancy test just so I could tell the doctor I had already done it. When I looked down at the stick and saw the little plus sign I was in complete shock. How could this happen? How was it possible? He had a vasectomy. There was no way. I went out and bought more pregnancy tests and they all came back positive. I broke down in tears and told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He was just as shocked as I was. We had the long painful discussion about what to do. We didn’t have our own place. I didn’t have insurance. We were in no way financially stable. We decided to have an abortion. I called my local clinic and talked with them and made an appointment. A week later I was at the clinic. My boyfriend went with me of course. I found out that I was 5 weeks along. The abortion itself went well. It was a lot more painful than I had imagined, but it went routinely and I was on my way within a few hours. Everyone at the clinic was so amazing. Very understanding and compassionate. When we got home I laid down in bed, feeling completely relieved and took a nap. The next few days I dealt some mild cramping and bleeding, but after that everything was back to normal.

In the days after the abortion I felt great relief and happiness. Now… Over a year later I am finally getting hit with the emotional fall out from my abortion. I feel great anger and sadness. The one thing I have never felt though is regret. I still believe today that we made the right and responsible decision. I am currently in therapy to help deal with my grief and anger over my loss. I refuse to suffer in silence any longer. I want to tell my story and let people know that abortion is a complex and emotional experience. I never thought that I would count myself among the women who have had an abortion, but it’s part of my story now. Don’t suffer in silence. Tell your story and don’t hide in shame. Let’s abolish the stigma attached to abortion… One woman at a time.


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