Right at the start of lockdown, my boyfriend and I were very stressed after both of our workplaces completely closed down. Applying to unemployment was proving to be impossible and things were rough. A couple weeks in, I noticed I was really tired and emotional on top of way more sensitive to smells. I realized I was a week late and completely panicked. I was a bit shocked at the positive pregnancy test because I had taken a plan b recently to be safe after a specific night. We had discussed a while back what I would do should I happen to become pregnant anytime in the near future, so for me, scheduling an abortion was a no brainer.
I called the women’s clinic and was told to show up as a walk in that Monday (this was Friday). They warned me to not wait any longer as the state was using covid as an excuse to attempt to restrict abortion access and they weren’t sure what was going to happen. I was absolutely terrified on top of stressed and sick. Over the weekend, the symptoms became almost unbearable. Extreme anxiety, mood swings, nonstop nausea and vomiting, extreme exhaustion. I couldn’t wait for it to stop. I was approved, told afterwards that I was lucky to have listed diagnosed depression in my paperwork. They were being forced to only approve people who met certain criteria for abortions under the guise of pandemic safety.
I was 6 weeks along by the time of my procedure, so I had the medical abortion. By then I couldn’t even hold water down, I had to take anti nausea medication to keep from vomiting the pills. They told me I would experience intense, period like cramps and sent me on my way, no pain meds. I spent the whole night sprawled on my bathroom floor from the awful, labor like pain I had for hours. I had no idea it could be that painful and was not mentally prepared. It made me really grateful that I didn’t have to experience full labor.
I wish the experience was less taboo to discuss in regular conversation, I would have been more prepared for the process and known to request the right medication. Even with that, I wouldn’t change my decision for anything. The physical and financial burden of being forced to continue a pregnancy, while jobless in a pandemic, would have completely broken me.
I’m grateful everyday that I had the right to choose the best path for me. Not having that choice would’ve been completely catastrophic to my physical and mental health.
