Up towards the days to my abortion, I read many unsatisfying stories about women suffering from pain, regret, depression, and more. My first appointment was a Monday and as I pulled into the Woman’s abortion clinic in Houston, TX, I saw many people holding signs and dressed up in anti-abortion T shirts shouting at drivers near by. Pulling into the clinic and having protestors waving at us and yelling at our car ( my grandmother was with me) was even more frightening and only added to my stress. The majority of them were men.

We went inside and I had my mind set on medical abortion. After talking with a nurse and telling her my background, in July I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks (it was now October and I was 9 weeks pregnant) I told her I had to go to the ER twice and received a blood transfusion because of how much blood I lost. My blood tests shown that I was anemic and plus due to how far along I was she told me the medical abortion would be dangerous for me due to my history and so fourth. So thats when we agreed on Surgical Abortion.

I had one day free, then on Wednesday I came in for my appointment. It was raining that day, so I was hoping there wouldn’t be any protestors to scream at us but of course I was wrong. Thankfully there was a security guard outside. After waiting an hour with my sweet grandmother, they finally called my name and my heart dropped.

I went inside and they gave me a concoction of what seemed like 10 pills or more. I took them and they gave me a white bag with prescription pain pills inside and educational handbooks. She told me to go to the restroom and put at pad on. While I stood in the line for the bathroom there were many girls visibly in pain, breathing heavily and moaning, rubbing their stomachs. That’s what scared me the most.  After I used the restroom and put a pad on I waited for a while for the medicine to kick in.

The weirdest thing happened. I felt not one cramp. I didn’t feel anything but drowsy and comfortable. (And a little cold but they gave me a blanket.)

I apparently fell asleep and a nurse tapped me and told me they were ready for me. I followed her into the room where they performed the surgical abortions. Took my leggings and underwear off and sat on a chair with my legs spread in the air. Yet I was comfortable. They injected something into my veins. Then before I knew it I was out and they tapped me and said that’s it, and helped me put my clothes back on. They walked me to the recovery room and I laid on a recliner and fell back asleep. I didn’t feel a THING whilst the procedure was taking place.

If you are having a surgical abortion, do not be scared, I am telling you from my experience, I did not feel one single cramp or any type of pain. Not even 0.01%.

Today is Thursday and I feel like I made the best decision, I feel a sense of relief, freedom, and I am so glad I was able to do this.

Coming from someone who has been diagnosed with PTSD, major depression disorder, and anxiety disorder, this abortion has not brought me deeper into that, instead it has lifted me up. I feel free, I could not bring a child into this world unfortunately and be a good mother with my mental health problems, and amongst other personal things I am dealing with.

I am free.

My name is Jahaziel and I had an abortion.