Still Alive

by BuffaloGal

March 28, 2018

Content Warning: Self-Harm & Abusive Relationship

In December, 2017, at age 43, I had an abortion. At the time, I was involved with a man who was an emotionally and psychologically abusive narcissist. I was living in a constant state of fight or flight. He had me convinced everyone was the problem; his family, his mom, his friends, his exes, and then… me. It was all me. Despite warnings from others that he was known to have been psychologically abusive with 2 previous exes, I didn’t know what to do. When I found out I was pregnant, I had a complete nervous breakdown. I wanted terminate the pregnancy, and myself right along with it. I did something crazy, and thankfully, Planned Parenthood was there for me. They saved my life, with a necessary and safe abortion, and the very best follow up care AND counseling. I did not want to have a child with someone, who to this day, has convinced himself and others that I was never pregnant, that the proof of abortion was “forged”, and that was “a psycho liar who made everything up” to “get to him”. He is why women need CHOICE. I needed CHOICE. I am grateful I had a CHOICE.


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