Three months into a new relationship amid my pending divorce, I found out I was pregnant. I was okay with the pregnancy, but the father was adamant he did not want to start over (both of us have children 5-12yrs old). I did not want to go through a pregnancy alone, and knew I could not raise a child alone; particularly being mother to a special needs child, and a full-time nurse.

Though I was devastated, I did not hesitate to choose medical abortion. I was eight weeks along, and chose to have a vaginal ultrasound at work to verify it was not ectopic before beginning the process. I was fortunate to know what to expect, and how to manage my own care. I spent one of the loneliest nights of my life alone on my bathroom floor, but returned to work the following night no longer pregnant.

It has been three months, and I honestly don’t know how I feel. I very much wanted that pregnancy, and would have been happy to raise a child with him. I always wanted more children. At the same time, I understood where he was coming from; he is older, and has some issues in his life that consume a lot of his time and finances. We are still together, but occasionally I have bad days where I feel resentful.