12 yrs: I got my first period. 14: Had my first boyfriend. 16: My bf: “We should have sex. You could go on birth control.” Friends: “Yeah me and my bf have sex all the time.” Same friends: “Can you believe so-and-so is pregnant?! Omg, HER life is over.” 17: I had sex for the first time. Used a condom. No birth control because sex or contraceptives weren’t talked about in my house. Even to this day. Also 17: Left home for college. I’d never move back. 18: Boyfriend and I broke up cordially. I had other sexual partners. Practiced safe sex. Friends: “Omg if I ever got pregnant my life would be over, I’d have to quit school.” 19: Met my (now) husband. We both had college athletic scholarships. Having a baby wasn’t an option. Who do I even talk to about birth control? Practiced safe sex. 25: Got married. Still practiced safe sex.

26: Dr: “You’re pregnant! Aren’t you excited?!” Me: Visibly upset. Destroyed by the news. Dr: “You’re probably about 7 weeks. Your OBGYN can order an ultra sound to hear the heartbeat of your baby.” I chose to abort the pregnancy 3 days later, petrified. I have been conditioned to think that babies will ruin my life since 12 years old, maybe even before. I have also been conditioned to think abortion is something that can’t be talked about. I’m still petrified. I have never told anyone my story.