I still say it was one of the smartest decisions I ever made.

by Anonymous

December 1, 2017

Content Warning: abusive partner

I had an abortion in July 2007. I was 22 at the time. I was in a really bad relationship. He was an abusive meth addict on probation and had been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder and I was working as a nursing assistant at a Catholic nursing home. Even though I was using birth control, my period didn’t show up and I was waking up feeling nauseous. I knew before the test turned positive that I would have an abortion. The test turned out to be positive and the first call I made was to Planned Parenthood. I was told that it would cost me $500 to have an abortion. $500 I didn’t have.

I never told anyone at the time I was pregnant. It would be 3 years before I said the words out loud. I didn’t tell my ex because I feared he would manipulate me into keeping the baby. I couldn’t say anything at my work because I knew I would lose my job. I was barely making enough to pay the bills as is but I worked overtime at the nursing home to pay the $500 to get the abortion. I felt sick and my sense of smell was very sensitive so working those long hours was tough. It took 3 weeks of working back to back 16 hour days to pay for the abortion. I was 10 1/2 weeks pregnant when I went in according to the doctors. When it was done, I never felt so relieved in my life. I can’t remember feeling any pain because I was so happy it was over with. I celebrated by going to a local fast food chain for a burger and ice cream.

Looking back on it 10 years later, I still do not regret getting my abortion. I still say it was one of the smartest decisions I ever made. I do regret being put in the situation of needing one and I do regret wasting so much time with my ex. But even 10 years on, I am so glad no child ever had to be subjected to being born in such a stressful and awful situation.

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