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The only thing that never sat well with me was the relative secrecy.

by WK

July 8, 2018

I found out I was pregnant – while on the pill – in my third year of law school. I was in a committed relationship to the man I am now married to. But I had three roommates, hadn’t finished my degree, didn’t have a job, and most importantly, I didn’t want to be a mother. Just because I knew this man was perhaps “the one” didn’t mean I wanted to have a child at that time.  I didn’t even tell him I was pregnant. Instead, I said: I’m having an abortion. It wasn’t a discussion, and I wasn’t afraid of an abortion! I was thankful, grateful, relieved. Access to safe and clean abortion services meant I could preserve my fertility. It meant I could choose to have a family later – and I did. Ten years later, we have two beautiful, healthy children. I have never wondered “what if I didn’t have that abortion?” I have never once regretted my decision.  I have taken Plan B as an emergency measure between children. Don’t forget, just because you ARE a mother doesn’t necessarily mean you want to be a mother to another child.

 

I am forever thankful for my abortion and for my health care providers at planned parenthood. The only thing that never sat well with me was the relative secrecy. One of my roommates still doesn’t know. My professors didn’t know. The people watching my dog didn’t know. And that kind of secrecy had the aura of shame, like people couldn’t or shouldn’t know that I was exercising my right to abortion, my total control over my body. This is why I’m telling my story today. Abortion is normal. I know how lucky I am to have people to care for me, a partner that split the cost with me, a clinic near my home. I know so many women and families don’t have the time or money or the many other means required to find access to abortion when it’s limited, and I will never be complacent in my privilege.

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