I have had two abortions and someday I hope to be a mother. Both were in my current long-term relationship and they are the best decisions I have made for myself and our partnership.
Both times, I was on birth control and it was a complete surprise.
Both times, we sat down and really talked about where we were financially and emotionally.
Both times, we decided it wasn’t the right time for us and it wasn’t the home we wanted to bring children into.
I went to two different clinics and it was two completely different experiences.
The first time was horrible if I’m being honest. The clinic required you to come in with a partner and they separated you right away. I was alone with two nurses and they acted like he was pressuring me into getting it done; continuously asking me if I REALLY wanted to go through with it. They made me feel like I was making the worst choice. It was six hours of questioning, prodding, and tests before we even discussed my options.
The second time was the best experience I have ever had at a doctor’s office. I was able to go by myself and they made me feel completely comfortable. When I met them with a smile, they didn’t act offended that I was happy to be getting the care I wanted. They asked about my previous abortion and were sympathetic to my experience. They walked me through everything they were doing and made me feel like I had an active role in my treatment, not just someone it was happening to.
Each time I am so thankful for not only my partner’s support but my belief in myself. I knew this was ultimately what I wanted and no matter the circumstances, I was going to get the medical attention I knew I deserved. You have to be an advocate for your own health.
Remain strong in your beliefs and know that though everyone’s experience is unique, there are so many womxn out there who have survived it and thrived. And you will too. <3
