Sad but Hopeful

by Anonymous

December 15, 2022

I fled an abusive relationship with my two daughters in 2021. I was 35 and had never been in love. The 15 years I spent in captivity I made my mind believe that this is it until I found the courage from somewhere. We lived in a women’s aid refuge for 10 months. I then found someone who I wasn’t looking for. Until I found him, I didn’t even know what it looked like to be held or looked at or to be truly loved. Last week I found out I was just over 4 weeks pregnant. We cried for days trying to work through it and see if we could bring another life into the world. Unfortunately, we couldn’t end the conversation each time with the birth of this child. We broke down and cried. We held each other and he booked the week off work to take care of me. I opted for the medical abortion and we grieved the loss the way we should. We named him and felt him and saw him even though we couldn’t have him. We asked his soul to move to someone desperately seeking a child and find us when we’re ready…

The process was scary and different but we went through it together. Coming out the other end, we’re sad but hopeful that one day, it’ll happen for us and if it doesn’t, that’s ok too..

I was so scared before the abortion. I felt like I was taking a life that wasn’t mine to take. I felt guilty and I felt remorse but because I had spoken about it and acknowledged it, the guilt and bad feelings eased. Our reasons are our own but they make sense.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!