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Relief

by Borealis

December 14, 2020

I was 19 and in my first relationship. I had never had sex before and my then boyfriend was constantly asking me why we hadn’t had sex yet. It was only 3 months into the relationship and he told me he was understanding, but kept asking. We were drunk one night and he asked if I wanted to have sex. I wasn’t sure if I did, but told him we could do it. I didn’t have condoms and neither did he. He said I could get a plan b after it, which I did.

I took my plan b. Completely thinking it had worked. My periods have always been irregular, so them being late wasn’t a big deal and of course the pill can mess with your cycle. After a month of no periods, I was starting to get suspicious but thought it wasn’t coming because I was so stressed about it. I was living my life, partying and drinking. Thinking back, it was a bit too much.

I smoked cigarettes and they started to make me nauseous. I blamed it on not eating before smoking and smoking too much. Then yogurt became gross and made me gag. Alcohol would also make me feel sick, but I blamed it on drinking too heavy.

Then I got the gut feeling. I needed to get a pregnancy test. I avoided taking it because in my heart, I knew. My best friend was in Amsterdam at the time and I knew he couldn’t be there for me. One night I just took the test. Almost instantly it had 2 lines on it. I wasn’t really shocked because like I said, I already knew. I called my best friend and after the call I was so embarrassed. I felt like I ruined his holiday.

I called the women’s clinic and told them about the situation. They asked about my latest period, and because it had been so long ago, I got an appointment for the next day. Before the appointment I informed my boyfriend about it, and he left me. What a great dude, huh?

The abortion process here is quite simple. They take tests and you need an approval from 2 doctors before you can have the abortion. I was 8 weeks pregnant and the nurse told me there was a heartbeat. I felt like that was unnecessary. My abortion was medical, so they gave me the first pill under supervision at the hospital and a shot, because I’m RhD negative. It’s something to do with your blood, I’m not quite sure. Then I got 6 pills to take home.

I took 2 pills orally and the rest 4 vaginally. Ibuprofen and some other pain killer as well. The bleeding started after a few hours and it was nothing more than a normal period. The pain got a bit worse and so did the bleeding. I was in the shower because the warmth helped with the pain. I felt something coming out and the pain pretty much ended there. I felt relieved.

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