Ready or Not

by Cecelia

October 5, 2020

I am a very independent person. So ever since I’ve known about “the debate”, it was easy to know I was pro-choice. I hate when people try to think for others and believe they can control one other’s whole life. I knew that if I was faced with such a decision and I was not ready, I would have chosen to have an abortion.

Growing up, I had 3 other siblings, my parents eventually got a divorce after 15 years, and it only helped me realize, you never know what you’re going to face in life. Even though I know I could do what my mom had to, I did not want to be put into that same situation unless I made that decision.

In high school, I ended up dating a guy for 5 years. I was young, in love, knew it wasn’t the greatest relationship but also wanted to see if things would work out. Though I knew if I had happened to get pregnant while in that relationship, I was not going to have that child. Fortunate enough, I left the relationship, got into a new one, engaged two years later and I’m pregnant.

Mind you, I’m only twenty-two,  almost twenty-three years old. I had dreams to go back to school, start a career and have kids, but on my own timeline, I also would like to have kids when I am married. In no way was I even close to being prepared to have a kid right now! I feel like I was barely able to take care of myself at the time and my wedding was still 10 months away, which was also going to be pushed back for another year or so until I felt like we were ready to be married. Point is, I had to have an abortion, and even though my mind was already made up, I was scared because now I really had to do it.

By the time I confirmed the pregnancy, I was already 7 weeks (some states ban abortion after 6) based off my last menstrual period. I didn’t schedule my consultation appointment till 2 weeks afterwards because I did have to travel out of town due to availability of nearby clinics. (I live in Texas, conservative enough)

Consultation day, Friday the 13th, I went to Whole Woman’s Health in Austin and it was so welcoming, comforting and honestly gave me much more confidence. They made sure it was something I wanted to do and comforted me no matter the reasoning. I chose to have the surgical procedure, mostly because I have issues with swallowing pills and even paid more to have the IV sedation, because I tend to get super nervous. I measured at 9 weeks when I did the ultrasound, got to see my baby (the size of a grape) and kept a picture of it because it was still my child, just not at the time right for me.  They scheduled me to come back in the morning, and it just felt so easy.

Next day sure enough, I was so incredibly nervous, but nothing can really prepare you mentally for something that’s so delicate and surrounded by so much stigma. My surgical abortion was so quick and so easy that I don’t want any person to feel that it’s ever unsafe or scary while abortions are still legal. I had the choice to continue to live my own life or start a new life I was not prepared for. Don’t be scared to choose YOUR life.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!