I got pregnant for the first time at 37 and made a pros and cons list. There were a few things under pros but the cons list was just about infinite. It went all the way down and around the paper. I added to it for days.
I ordered abortion pills and felt some guilt once the cramps started. I felt like I was interfering with nature. My body had been hard at work, I’d felt its preparation, and now I was ruining its party. But the ambiguous feelings left me with the pregnancy.
Now, a couple of months later, I remember being pregnant like it was an illness I’ve recovered from. Things are good.
