Search

I thought I was Pro Choice before it happened to me. Now I am even MORE Pro‑choice.

by Heather

March 27, 2018

I was in a failing marriage, and we already had two children, who were only 5 & 6 years old. Parenting them was extremely difficult, because the second one was adopted 8 months after I gave birth to the first one.  And I never planned to be pregnant in the first place…..in high school I believed that it was irresponsible of me to make babies, when there were so many already here on the planet that needed good families. Hence the desire to adopt. But when we were first married, in 2004, I attempted to conceive at home. No luck. Turns out hubby had less than 3% motile sperm. So we made ONE appointment with a fertility clinic for a Intra-uterine insemination. I figured it wouldn’t work. It did. I was pregnant. Decided to go ahead with that one.It was a difficult pregnancy, weight gain, exhaustion, gestational diabetes. Labor was interesting and was grateful for that experience. Recovery wasn’t easy. caring for a newborn daunting. Fast forward to 2012—Age 38…..I had been caring for my boys full time–and the second one–well , he was trouble. Drug -exposed pre-natally–ADHD, and we had just barely gotten him on meds….our family was a mess. Lots of arguing between me and my spouse….i knew it was going downhill fast. We almost never used protection due to his 3% sperm rate….I figured I needed medical intervention to get pregnant the first time….so my odds werent likely good at home.

But one day. I was late. Took a test. It was positive. I just looked at it and thought, No NO NO.

Told a close friend. Went to the doc to confirm, while my kids were at Kindergarten and first grade. Told my husband. Told him there was no way I was continuing the pregnancy….for reasons stated above. I was already overweight. I didnt want gestational diabetes again, and end up type 2 afterward.Some people will say these werent good enough reasons…..but I say, it was my body, and my choice. Not theirs.My husband agreed.  I went to the clinic as soon as possible and they did my treatment at SIX WEEKS!!!I think this is the earliest they will let you do it.  Quite honestly the 24-36 hours of recovery was a piece of cake. I rationalize this to myself that I needed medical intervention to become pregnant, and medical intervention to stop being pregnant. I regret that I ever got pregnant in the first place. I should have been more careful. But I dont regret the choice I made. Im grateful I HAD the choice, and the Money–It was like $500. I thought I was Pro Choice before it happened to me. Now I am even MORE Pro-choice.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!