by J

January 6, 2020

I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. It took me 10 years after the 4 year relationship ended to admit that –  he stole from me, he cheated on me, he left me with bills in our name. He told me he was infertile, the effect of testicular cancer in his early 20’s…. I supported his art and spent holidays with his family instead of mine. I can’t believe how textbook my utter submission to him became… He’s the one who left in the end.

I spent years wondering why I put up with such treatment.

The only thing that I did in that relationship that I am proud of: is terminate pregnancy.

My abortion was the one smoke signal of strength I had during a long cycle of weakness.

I was in debt; I sat in the city building to apply for financial assistance. I was granted that assistance (because I live in a progressive state) and was scheduled at a Planned Parenthood within 2 weeks of finding out.

I am so thankful for the Planned Parenthood team that whisked me through the experience.

I mourned that release.

I can’t wait to get pregnant with my soon-to-be husband. I feel the Excitement and magic of the experience ahead –

And I give thanks to all those who have shouted their abortions and the positive effects therein – it’s like a collective shield we can build against the confused and careless voices that shout their resistance. I’m not drawn to battle their cries on my own…

But if I were I would sit down with anyone angry about abortion and remind them that seeds get planted in the soil all the time – but it’s Mother Earth that determines if that seed is able to grow.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!