Pregnant by a narcissist

I have now had 2 abortions, my second one being last week. Making the decision was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but deep down inside I knew it was the right thing. The father is a narcissist who doesn’t care about me or anyone else apart from himself. For the past 2 years I have been consistently mentally abused, and physically abused twice. The sad thing is I love him with all of my heart and so desperately want us to be together. However, both times after finding out I was pregnant by him, I knew what I needed to do. He may be a good father when he could be bothered but a baby deserves a better chance in life surely? He wasn’t there for me. I went through it alone, both times. I feel broken inside but I hope one day I will find peace.