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Pregnant at 19

by Anonymous

June 16, 2021

I’m 19, almost 20. I had a medical abortion 2 days ago. I found out I was pregnant over 3 weeks ago and scheduled my appointment days after. I didn’t even think it was possible. I think the hardest part about my situation is that I had to wait so long before the abortion. I had to experience the pregnancy symptoms and know the fetus was actively growing inside me as I waited for the appt date to arrive.

When I think about it, in a way, it’s empowering. Having to experience that and still having the strength to follow through with such a tough decision is brave. It makes me strong. And it feels good knowing that I was able to make that CHOICE for myself. I feel such a wide range of emotions from sadness and guilt to anxiety and confusion, but also relief. I have time to focus on my life and build myself up to be the best person I can be so that in the future, when I’m ready, I can raise a child with the right resources. I’d love to be a mother, but I still live with my parents, I struggle with depression and anxiety, and I simply just want to experience other things in life before diving straight into parenthood.

I’ve always been pro choice, but whenever I considered the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy I always thought I personally could never get an abortion, especially since my boyfriend and I have been together for 5+ years. I had to put myself and my future first. It’s not going to be an easy journey working through this stage of my life attempting to overcome the stigma and this internalized shame over abortion, but I see this as a start. Abortion is normal. My feelings, thoughts, and reasons are valid. I’m one of the strongest people I know.

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