My daughter was 17 months old when I found out I was pregnant. My husband had just left his job. There was initially no conversation about what we were going to do, we just were going to figure out how to have a second kid. Then I started spotting and bleeding a little. I realized I was hoping to have a miscarriage. The bleeding stopped and I was disappointed. That’s when I told my husband I didn’t think I wanted to go through with the pregnancy. I didn’t want to resent a baby for being born. I didn’t want to struggle to feed a new baby and scrounge to get enough money together to put it in daycare. I didn’t want to pause my career for a year. I didn’t want to give up my body again, I’d only had it back for a few months. I didn’t want to have less time and attention for my daughter.
I had a medical abortion at six weeks. I took 3 days off of work. It went smoothly. I took Advil for the pain and the nausea medication and holed up on the couch with the Harry Potter movies. My daughter was home sick with my husband and was upset when I couldn’t play with her or put her to bed. The house was a mess and we ordered out a lot for our meals. My work suffered some. But it was all manageable and it was 3 days and there was no additional baby in the mix. Making the decision was difficult but once I did I never looked back. My abortion will allow me to be a better mother, a better wife, and to engage with my work more. I am so grateful.
