“oh, that sucks”

by Casandra

October 9, 2020

The ultrasound tech couldn’t say anything but I could see the results in her face…I was pregnant with an IUD. Later I remember hearing the doctor pick my chart up on the opposite side of the exam room door and say “oh, that sucks”. He then opened the door, walked in, sat down, looked at me and said “I’m so sorry, this sucks”. I was so relieved that he didn’t come in and congratulate me. He asked me how I was feeling and openly discussed all of my options, clearly stating, “if you don’t want to be pregnant you don’t have to be”. He apologized for not being able to offer me an abortion in the office due to clinic politics but provided a very specific referral that allowed me to easily make an appointment nearby.

My partner was very sad that I had chosen to end the pregnancy although he ultimately supported my decision. Initially he asked me to take more time to think about it, but I explained that I had never been more confident in a decision in my life. On the day of my appointment I went to the clinic alone but a volunteer held my hand and walked me through each step of the procedure. Once the abortion was complete, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I felt so grateful for the initial doctor who provided unbiased and judgement-free counseling, the compassion of my volunteer support person, and the doctor who chose to make abortion care part of her career. My abortion changed my life.

I was 23 when I chose to have an abortion. I am now 32 years old and finishing my first year of residency training in Obstetrics and Gynecology and after residency I plan to pursue a fellowship in Complex Family Planning to be able to become a sub-specialist in abortion and contraception.


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