I unexpectedly got pregnant with someone I was newly dating. It was such a hard decision for me to have an abortion because I have always envisioned being a mom. But I was not willing to raise a child on my own and the situation was not how I pictured having a family. I could tell by the way my partner was treating me that he was going to be an unreliable co-parent. He made me feel unwanted and avoided me as much as possible when I told him I was pregnant, so why would I inflict those feelings on to my future child? I made my final decision by looking at my future in two ways; I could have the baby and live the rest of my life navigating the numerous responsibilities of a child, their baby daddy, and myself or I could have an abortion and just take care of myself.
Both seemed really hard in different ways. Ultimately, I chose to take care of myself. I knew I could get myself through the challenging feelings that came with having an abortion. I still feel sad about having an abortion, and I think that sadness will always linger. It’s funny to me when pro-lifers want to say “deal with the consequences of your actions”, because having an abortion is a consequence. They will never know how it feels to live with the sadness, guilt, and shame of knowing you are giving away your dream of becoming a mom. I would actually hate for anyone to experience the way that feels because it’s really hard! I’m sorry to people who have to experience abortions because I know it’s really not the easy route and we don’t deserve the judgement. But you are strong and dynamic and I’m proud of you.
