I did not have an abortion because my life was in danger. I did not have an abortion because I didn’t ever want children. I didn’t have an abortion because something was wrong with the pregnancy, or any of the plenty of other sometimes scary, sometimes sad, but altogether legitimate reasons that women choose abortion. I had my abortion because I just didn’t want a baby right then. I was in a loving committed relationship. When I found out I was pregnant we were already engaged. But for me and for us, it just wasn’t the right time.

It was a hard decision. I won’t pretend that it wasn’t. There were lots of tears, tough conversations, and long nights spent thinking about it. But in the end, it was the right choice. The procedure wasn’t as scary or painful as I thought it would be and the medical staff was wonderful and supportive. I only wish people talked about abortion more. So that I would have known going in that it’s really not that big of a deal and that I shouldn’t be afraid. Thankfully I had a friend to call who had had an abortion before and calmed all my nerves. The fact that there is so much stigma around abortion and so much hatred towards people who get one made it so much scarier and stressful than it needed to be. If we could only talk about our experiences more openly in a judgment free place about abortion, pregnancy, miscarriages, menstruation, sex, all of it, we could feel empowered with knowledge instead of silenced by political and religious bias.

I now have a wonderful child who I’m so in love with and look forward to spending years in the future teaching and getting to know. I still think about my abortion, but not with sadness. I think about it as a thread that ties me to many people around me who have also had abortions and believe that our bodies are ours to do with what we choose. The biggest thing I wish people knew about abortion and that I want to shout from every rooftop is that there are many reasons you might want and need an abortion but don’t let anyone make you feel like you are less justified to have control over your body based on whatever that reason it. It’s your body and your choice.