My truth

by A

November 7, 2019

Content Warning: rape, emotional abuse, threats of suicide

I wrote in my story back in March, I feel ready now to share my story in truth. Since posting my previous story “changed my life forever”

I had my abortion at 18 and yes it was for many reasons but the main one was because I got pregnant in the middle of a very sexually violent relationship. I sat there on the bed filled with despair and told my boyfriend that I was pregnant his response was to rape me every night as punishment for getting pregnant until I had my abortion, he threatened to kill himself if I didn’t and used cruel threats about a coat hanger. My abortion was extremely scary due to bleeding too much, he refused to be with me for the clinic visits. He allowed me 48 hours to recover before he assaulted me again.. due to that happening so soon after I ended up with an infection..I suffered 6 years at the hands of this man from ages 14 to 20 being sexually abused weekly. I lived with regret for a long time about aborting my baby. I remember the entire time feeling completely broken.

Now at 21 and free from him I look back on my abortion as a blessing, I’m glad my baby will never know that man. I look at it as the ultimate sacrifice in protecting that little soul from him and his twisted family. I learned to forgive myself in letting him violate me for all those years. I still feel like I should be a mother two years on from my abortion,  I hope to meet that little soul again one day, maybe when my life is better and happier. My experience has made me a big believer in people having a choice. I refuse to let him get the better of me, I’m in counseling and completing my studies and have an amazing job, I’m determined to be somebody and not just the girl who was abused. I’m ready to shine now as a young woman.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!