My surgical abortion at 12 weeks story.
I found out I was pregnant on the 31st of October. It was a complete shock to me and completely unplanned. I had thought about my options and after a discussion with my partner, we decided that an abortion was the best thing for us. I was unemployed, he had a very low payed job and we was living abroad in Europe struggling in every possible way.
I didn’t want to wait very long, so I managed to get hold of the tablets. At this point I was around 4 weeks pregnant. I was very scared and upset, but i knew it was the right decision for me and my partner both. I dissolved 4 tablets of misoprostol in the side of my cheeks and waited … nothing happened. A couple of hours passed and still nothing, so I decided to dissolve a further 4 tablets. I waited, and still nothing happened. I had some slight cramping and some very light bleeding, but nothing more. At this point it was clear that the tablets had been unsuccessful. The whole experience was very unpleasant, not because it was painful or I felt unwell, just emotionally.
As the tablets hadn’t worked, I decided to travel back home to the UK to carry out the procedure as it would have cost hundreds of pounds to do abroad. However, flights were extremely expensive, we had very little money and there were other personal issues. So I had to wait until my parents were flying back in December to go back. This distressed me A LOT, because I wasn’t comfortable waiting this long, but i had very limited options. I made an appointment with the Marie Stopes prior to me returning back, so I knew I could book an appointment in advance.
I arrived in the UK, arranged an appointment at the clinic after a phone consultation and waited for the day to come. However, my appointment was cancelled one day before and I had to wait another week. Again this distressed me a lot, because by this time I had known I was pregnant for weeks and had been dealing with the emotional turmoil on a daily basis.
The day finally came, and this is the most important part i wanted to write about. I was absolutely petrified, I was searching stories on the internet and was in sheer panic. I was worried about the pain, the procedure, being alone, the list goes on.
I arrived at the clinic and at this point i was 12 weeks pregnant and was having a surgical abortion with general anesthetic. The staff and nurses were extremely pleasant and attentive with me, assuring me that everything would be okay. I waited in a waiting room with my mum and partner until it was my time to go down. Once I was called, I was brought to a room where I had a short consultation and signed some forms. I was then taken to a room, where the lovely nurses gave me some special socks to wear and fitted a cannula in my hand. I then placed all my belongings in a basket which they would carry for me from room to room. I was guided to another room where women were sat post abortion, it wasn’t frightening. They was sat quite comfortably with blankets in chairs, being assisted on by nurses. Here they gave me 2 misoprostol to dissolve to open my cervix slightly, along with some pain killers and anti-sickness medication through the cannula. I was extremely worried about this part, because I was under the impression that I’d feel very ill with a lot of cramping and that I would feel extremely sick and experience diarrhea. However, none of this happened. I was taken to a room with a few other girls my age who had also taken misoprostol, we all talked and it was a really friendly environment. We all comforted each other, this really surprised me. All I experienced was some mild cramping due to the misoprostol, no where near as bad as my worst periods and I did get some shakes and a slight fever. But, it was nothing drastic. I also felt quite light headed, but I didn’t experience any nausea or anything like that.
After a while, the nurses came to collect me for the procedure. I was experiencing palpitations and I was worrying a lot due to this, but i was reassured that this was normal and the anesthetist would check me thoroughly. I was taken to the surgical room where I was given a gown that covered the lower half of my body, then I was led to the bed where I would lie down. The nurses made sure i was as comfortable as possible and they provided large cushions to rest on. They then placed my legs in stirrups, whilst another nurse checked my pulse and blood pressure. A lot of the girls I was previously with were understandably worried about this part, but I’m here to reassure you that the nurses and anesthetists do this every day with thousands of people. It’s okay to worry, but I promise you they make it as comfortable as possible.
The nurse then told me that they was going to place a mask over my face and insert the anesthetic through the cannula and how it might feel. She held my hand and they placed the mask over my face, they told me to take deep breaths and I did. That’s honestly the last thing i remember. I don’t remember any pain, any discomfort or any of the procedure.
I woke up to the nurse talking to me, I cant really remember what she said. I just remember I was wearing some knickers and a sanitary towel. She then guided me to an area where I would get changed and make my way down to the recovery room. Once I was there I was given tea and biscuits, along with the other girls that were there. I was in very very little pain, hardly any cramps with slight bleeding.
After around 30 minutes, I was guided back to the waiting room where I waited for my mum and partner to collect me. By this point I was experiencing cramps, but nothing too painful it was really just like a period. This continued for a couple of days, but it wasn’t anything excruciating and I didn’t personally feel like I needed pain killers.
It has now been a month since my abortion. The couple of days following the procedure was hard, I was very teary and very emotional but this is normal. Some women feel very down after an abortion, some feel relieved. It’s personal to YOU and for some it may be an easy decision and others it may not. I just wanted to tell people there is nothing to panic about, I understand its a horrible process but the nurses are so kind and I wasn’t in excruciating pain like people make out.
It’s been tough emotionally, but I’m using this story as an outlet also. To move on and let go, I will never forget this experience and it was a huge life lesson to me. But i don’t think women should feel shame around their abortion.
please please do not listen to the stories online, I promise you you will be okay <3
I hope this helps someone.
