Four years ago today, I had a medical abortion. I remember being at planned parenthood for five hours and hearing protestors outside the whole time. There was a preacher there ( I live in Georgia) yelling that planned parenthood was funded by eugenicists that wanted women to abort their “N*gro” babies.
I remember being placed in a room by myself and being forced to watch a video on a DVD player warning me of complications physically and emotionally that might come afterward. I remember the sonographer telling me she had to use a condom on the ultrasound wand before she put it inside of me. I remember staring up at the ceiling and counting six butterflies that were tacked up there while she determined the gestation for the fetus I was going to terminate. I did not tell my roommates. Instead, I suffered quietly through the night writhing in pain and trips back and forth to the bathroom passing blood clots. I remember holding what I’m sure was the 8 week old fetus in my hand but too horrified to look at it before I flushed it down the toilet.
The following months were the most traumatic of my life. I was too scared to go back to planned parenthood to get a check up and found out only after I went to the ER that I had an incomplete miscarriage. But I wasn’t given the option for a D&C until 3 months later after I needed a blood transfusion from suffering blood loss. Mental health services surrounding abortion are almost unheard of here where I’m from in Georgia. Most services offered are those combined with Christian counseling. I had to quit my job because it was too physically demanding. I almost dropped out of college. But I’m so glad I pressed onward.
I graduated with honors and now I’m one of the youngest in a highly influential role for the company I now work for. I’m thankful for my decision regardless of the pain it brought me because it taught me how to love myself. I would not be as successful in my career right now had I chose differently and I’m grateful for sites like yours that make me feel less alone in my decision. Thank you for your continued effort and support for all of us out here ❤❤❤
