At 19 years old, I left everything I knew and got married. I fell for the military wedding, lifestyle, everything. After 4 years of marriage and him getting out the army, the paychecks for us being married stopped and he left me about a week later. I was beyond distraught, I didn’t know how to move forward with my life at that point and I just stopped taking my birth control because I thought “what’s the point.” About three weeks later, my best friend was having her joint bachelorette/bachelor weekend in Vegas and introduced me to her groom’s best man. It was literally firecrackers between us the entire weekend and we were pretty much inseparable from the point on. A few days later I was so glad I had gotten a period after our weekend in Vegas. THANK GOD right?? Wasn’t on my pill but mother p came through. Yeah..this is where we got careless. About 4 weeks later, I noticed cramping for days but no period came. I waited two weeks and finally took a test, positive. At this point I haven’t even filed for divorce, I’m in a brand spanking new fling and here I am pregnant.
Without hesitation, I knew this was not going to happen. I called PP and scheduled my abortion for the following week. I found out I was 7 weeks, and it was really hard to process. “How did I miss this, I should have been more careful, why didn’t I have any symptoms, no one can know” nothing but shame and guilt was all I could feel. I took the pill in the PP office and then took the following pill at home 24 hours later. I can’t sugar coat it, the pain from the cramping was actual hell on earth, mentally and physically. After I went back for my 2 week check up they cleared me and I started my birth control back up.
I cried for weeks afterwards, asking myself what have I done. Sometimes I still do, it’s hard to cope with some days. I just remind myself I did what was best for me at that time in my life.
The father and I are still very much together, we are actually engaged to be married this fall. We hope to have a family one day, and we do talk about bean (that’s what we call the topic) at times, it was a part of our life and shouldn’t be forgotten. Our experience brought us closer and stronger, and I know it hurt him (he wants to be a dad more than anything) but I’m so grateful he’s so supportive of my decision and always comforts me whenever I feel sad about it. The thoughts of “what if” and “what could of been” always linger. I’m just so grateful that I have access to this option, and PP is so caring and comforting they really did help make the experience less traumatizing. Forever grateful for them.
