My story starts with a boy, a boy I will call R. He was blonde, tall and perfect looking in every way, why would he go for someone like me? Someone so plain and boring, someone who was not classed as pretty or hot. But yet he did, we met on a night out, he took me home because I was too drunk, he tucked me up in bed and left. He messaged me to let him know when i was awake. And from there it blossomed. I fell in love with R, we spent every second we could together. He was perfect.

 

However, this is not a happily ever after. One stupid selfish night we had sex without any protection. Neither of us thought anything of it. And the next day we carried on with our lives, being the same old ‘perfect’ couple.

8 weeks later, I got a phone call, my perfect R had slept with someone else. He broke my heart and my world came tumbling down. I was young, first year at University, first time away from home. How was I going to deal with a breakup this far away from my Mum?

It didn’t stop there, I had a feeling something wasn’t right with my body that day, I brought a pregnancy test just before he told me he had cheated on me. I did the test that night, not thinking I could be pregnant, not me who had been on the pill since I was 15. But I was pregnant, not only did i have to deal with a cheating boyfriend, I had to deal with the fact i had a baby growing inside of me.

 

It marks two years since I had my abortion, no one needs to know the details of what happened, R did come with me but he abandoned me as soon as it was over. I was left alone to deal with this mess. I couldn’t tell my family or my Mum.

The majority of the past two years I have felt disgusted in myself, how could i get rid of my baby? How could I be so selfish?

BUT NO! Something clicked two months ago, I may have had an abortion, but bringing a baby into a world where their Mother couldn’t look after them would never have been fair. I shouldn’t feel guilty for putting myself first. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life and I believe I made the right one, I am joining the police, and I may not have my life sorted out completely but I am happy, truly happy with myself for the first time in years.

My abortion made me the strong woman I am now. I made the right decision and I will always hold apart of my baby in my heart. Abortions shouldn’t be something that you are ashamed of. It’s your body, it’s your life, its your decision!