This was my second abortion. I had an inkling as I had just received a new sports watch and my period was due according to it, but it hadn’t come. This was the first time actually tracking it.

We’d had amazing sex camping a few weeks ago but he’d gotten sloppy with the pull out and I wasn’t on any contraception. He later told me he didn’t know I could get pregnant from just a drop of cum.

The mood swings started, the exhaustion, the extreme depression, not feeling at home in my body. I still managed to do a 10KM trail run on a warm Victorian spring day. I went to the chemist as I was working interstate. I knew as soon as it came up I was not in any place to have a child mentally and I personally believe bringing an unwanted child into the world is cruelty to some degree.

It was two weeks of exhaustion and depression hell. I was angry at him for cumming in me. I knew the medical abortion tablets would be painful. On the day he cooked me Bolognese as I writhed in pain for 3 hours, unable to do anything to stop the cramps. Eventually it slowed and stopped. He apologised for making me pregnant.

We went camping and I passed the sac 5 days later in the campground toilets.

Afterwards the abortion I felt free and whole. It felt my depression and anxiety had magically cleared. I was revived with energy. It was strange though, when I googled elation after abortion and miscarriage, nothing came up. I wonder if my body thinks I have miscarried and is pumping me with happy hormones or if I am just better.