My first abortion when I was 19 was a procedural abortion, very straightforward, healed very quick, minimal bleeding. My second abortion was a medical abortion, which was a metaphorical and emotional experience. My partner was leaving the US, going back to his home country. I always told myself that I would have a child when I want a child, not because of a relationship. Him leaving wasn’t up for debate, I knew this and I just wanted a piece of him to stay with me. We planned and planned, I thought I was ready but when I saw the positive test, FELT the symptoms, I knew I wasn’t. Where would my baby go to the doctor? I don’t have a job that provides health insurance. If I have to work, I only have one person in my family that I knew I could depend on and she is an adult with a job and her own life. It wasn’t realistic. I wish it could have been.

I wanted a baby, but I can’t provide for a whole person right now, not on my own. He supported me through the abortion, and then him and I both left where we were living, he had to move back to his home country and I moved closer to my family. Even after he left I was still bleeding, spotting. Now I’m all healed, a month later I’m in a different town, with a new job, starting all over. I feel like leaving a city that was my home, quitting my job, leaving friends, a relationship, and pretty much starting a whole new life wouldn’t have been complete without a dramatic ending, at least with the way my life is lol. Yes, I absolutely made the right choice.