My first pregnancy was when I was 19. I was working at a Wal-Mart at the time and taking some courses at college, clearly didn’t have much going on for my life. I also really wasn’t in much of a relationship, the guy I was with was just a good friend, definitely not father material.
I told my mom about it, expecting some anger, but what I got was a hug. We had a very emotional conversation that day, and my mom had the ultimate courage on telling me about her two abortions. My mom was 17 when she had her first abortion, she had me when she was 21, and she had her second abortion at 26. This was something I never knew about, and it was something she never talked about, but that conversation helped me in making my choice.
I look at my first abortion as a rite of passage to becoming a woman. It made me understand who I was, it also gave me the chance on living my life to its fullest potential, it also made a beautiful mother-daughter relationship even stronger. I’ll admit that the procedure was a bit painful, and it was a very challenging moment in my life, but I have never had any regrets doing it.
It would be 14 years later when I had my second abortion. I was married, the mother of two girls, and found myself with another unplanned pregnancy. The idea of having another abortion was unimaginable, but I also knew it wasn’t the right time to have our third child.
Telling my husband that I was thinking about abortion was the hardest part. I had to bring him up to my level and explain to him that I wasn’t ready. I told him that I wanted to give all my time to our two daughters, that they were the reason why I wanted to terminate the pregnancy. It took some convincing, but in the end we both agreed that it wasn’t the right time.
I told my mom about it after I talked with my husband, I didn’t want her to get involved until I knew my husband was on my side. We again had that conversation, tears and all, and it felt good knowing that my mom supported my decision.
My first abortion was out in California, it was at a Planned Parenthood in Whittier that was a 10-minute drive from where I lived. But now I live in Texas, and abortion is illegal out here, and the only option I had was to drive 5 hours to Albuquerque. I of course had the option of having a medical abortion at my house, doing everything via the internet, but I wanted a surgical because I wanted to make sure it was done right. On another note I was 12 weeks when I terminated the pregnancy. I should have been 9 or 10 weeks but it took 23 days before I could get an appointment, that and two days off from work.
I wish abortion was normal, like going to the dentist normal. All these regulations make a sometimes-difficult decision that much worse. I never planned on having an abortion, and I never planned on having two, and I pray that I never need to have a third, but no matter what it should be my choice on what I decide to do with my body and my life.
