My medical abortion at almost 6 weeks. I had just turned 19.
I had been with my boyfriend for around 7 months prior.
On & off again, an unstable relationship.
I had missed my period. I checked my tracking app and I saw 31 days (not odd for me to run a few days behind; due to stress etc).
I was working full time trying to find myself after graduating HS the previous year.
I sensed I was pregnant before I took a test. My boobs were the sorest they have ever been and the smell of McDonald’s breakfast made me want to heave. I never found out if this was placebo or the raging hormones but I did notice this BEFORE & AFTER I took a test.
I had to go away for work for two days, I texted my bf that he had to meet me at X after I got back. I needed to take a test. We bought a test and I walked straight to the closest bathroom in the shopping centre. I took a deep breath and peed on it. Almost instantly I see two lines. My heart and gut drops and in that moment I really think my BPM was almost 200. I took a photo of the test (I think in my heart I knew I couldn’t trust my bf; which was made relevant later but not important to MY story)
I knew instantly I didn’t want to keep it. No doubts in my mind whatsoever
I walk out of the bathroom and throw my phone on the table.
My partner then tells me that we will work it out and he will get another job to care for it.
I exclaim this isn’t what I want, we remained on different terms. But I knew my decision was the right one.
I go to my local GP and tell them that I am pregnant and I don’t want to be. Just my luck I get a lady who has had a bad day and just tells me to get a blood test done and book an appointment. So I book a blood test for two days time (the earliest I could get off work/ get it done) In the meantime – I take a digital test. I expected this test to say +1 week or +2 weeks. But it said +3 weeks. Although I was only a few days late to my period at this time. I couldn’t fathom how I messed up so bad (and took THREE weeks to realise – even though this wasn’t the case).
I go to work for two days and can barely eat or think.
I get the blood test done on a Saturday morning and my partner comes with me. The lady taking my blood comes in and is very lovely and makes a lot of small talk “What are we in here today for!” I replied. “I’m pregnant” My partner smiles like no tomorrow and my face is flat. The nurse then replied “well you’ll definitely get your answer after this! What are you guys getting for lunch after this? Something yummy?” She made me feel so at ease. I cried happy tears that night.
(I didn’t NEED the blood test for me to book my abortion. The GP recommenced it because I was so early – and it couldn’t hurt.)
That day after lunch – I booked my abortion. It was December, three weeks before Christmas. Both my partner and I still lived with parents, so I sat at Yogurberry and called Marie Stopes.
The lady on the phone was so lovely, she kept me at ease and explained all the billing and the things to expect. I booked my appointment for Thursday (the earliest available) (I planned in my head to call in sick to work on Thursday and sent thru a doctors cert. for Friday.)
I then went back to my GP to get my test results, I saw different doctor. She opened my results; ‘Everything else looks good to me; and you are pregnant’ I told. Her I has booked an appointment and she assured me I would be fine. She made me feel not so alone at the time.
I don’t remember much for the next 5 days. I was tired and stressed, but distracting myself with work. I was sure of my decision.
The day came, I was told to prepare to be there for up to 6 hours.
We went together.
I buzzed the door, gave my appointment time and was let in to fill in paperwork. I put down my Mum as an emergency contact even though she had no idea I was there. I knew I’d want her if anything went bad.
The waiting room was full. Full of all types of women. One woman sitting with a pamphlet in her hand for surgical abortion, she looked extra scared. I gave her a smile hoping it would help. Another group of girls (all laughing and giggling in the corner. I wasn’t sure why they were there but it felt invasive, I felt looked down upon by them) and a women who was calmly playing a game on her phone.
We waited – I think it was an hour before I was seen by the first nurse. They asked me to go in alone. She then took my blood pressure, listened to my heart, checked my blood type and explained the medical abortion ‘procedure’ and what to expect. Or more so ‘how much bleeding to expect’.
I was then popped back into the waiting room. I think it was another 40 mins or so – when the next nurse called me. My bf came along – she did the ultrasound and warned me again that they might not be able to see anything because I’m so early. I was also warned on the phone when I booked the appointment. She faced the monitor away from me, my partner watched as I told him not to. I don’t remember if she asked me if I wanted to look. But I did not. Regardless.
We then entered a different room where another nurse came in with my partner and I. She did a mental health check and asked if I was sure. Explained what pain killers to take when and gave me the first tablet to swallow then and there. Done. I took my bag and prescription to Priceline to get filled for stronger pain relief and bought two packets of pads. We then went to the movies and I went home to get some rest. I didn’t feel sick of nauseous even though I was warned I might. I called in sick that night for the following day.
The next day, I set my alarm. I then dissolved the 4 tablets in my gums for 30 mins and swallowed the remaining. It didn’t take long for the pressure/cramps to begin. The doctor told me to take pain killers and anti-nausea medication but I didn’t. I told myself I ‘deserved it’. I stayed in bed all day, it was raining. Id say the first two hours were the worst, I was very nauseous and threw up bile constantly, I had cramps but a hot water bag made them better. I slept most of the time after that, I put a few movies on loop and woke up just to drink water and go to the bathroom. It was totally manageable. My mum (who I lived with) didn’t suspect a thing. I called my partner once but I knew deep down I was doing it by myself. 9pm rolled around (I think I took that tablets around 1). I got up. Had a shower. Sat down with her in the lounge room and really felt proud of myself. I did it and I knew I could and it was okay that it happened. I spotted ever so slightly for the next few days. My check up appointment was early January (the earliest they could get me in). It was early, the waiting room was empty. I filled in a questionnaire about how I felt/how it went (the nurse then looked over it with me and asked me again if I needed any counselling) did my ultrasound and I was free to go. I left my partner not long after that but I was so proud that I did it. I really did it.
Almost two years on, and I’m still so proud of myself every single day and I know and knew it was the right choice.
