My husband and I simply want to be childfree.

by Anonymous

October 22, 2018

I’m writing my story because I’ve not found many stories like mine, that I could relate to. I see a lot of stories of teenagers; single or in an abusive relationship women; raped women; women with financial difficulties; single moms and so many other horrible moments in life, not appropriate for having a baby. Not my case.

I’m 37 and have been happily married to a wonderful man for 12 years. We live a good life; no significant difficulties, no traumas, no extremely sad stories. Everything ok. For the last 8 years we didn’t use any method for birth control other than me looking at a calendar and it worked, and I actually thought that one of us was sterile. And of course we talked many times about whether we did or didn’t want to have children, and the answer was always the same: no, we definitely don’t want babies. Basically we love our life as it is, our silence, our freedom, and not having anyone depending on us 24/7.

But then it happened and when I saw the test coming out positive I was paralyzed. It was my greatest fear because although I knew I didn’t want kids I also knew that getting an abortion is no joke – emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually. I was mad at me for putting myself in this position.

The whole process was actually simple (I live in France), but to me it was emotionally difficult. Got an appointment at the hospital 10 days after the test, made an ultrasound (which I didn’t want to see). Talked to a psychologist, and she was kind and understanding. No one – including doctors, nurses, secretaries – ever questioned my decision and were kind. Took the pills, and everything was over in a couple of days.

I read a lot about abortion since the day I found out I was pregnant because I felt alone. I can’t tell my parents because they wouldn’t understand and my friends were either pregnant, with little babies or trying to have one, so I felt like it was inappropriate to talk to them. And although I feel less alone knowing that there are a lot of women that have been through the same procedure, I still don’t see a lot of women that did it simply because they feel better being childfree. It was very hard but I don’t regret my decision. So I hope my story helps someone out there.

Remember that our stories are ours to tell. We’d love to hear your story too!